Monday, June 8, 2015

Olivia and the heartbeat

This week, Joseay bought a ceramic piggy bank at a yard sale with the name of Olivia painted on the side.  The girl who was selling it, said to Joseay “oh, is your name Olivia?”  To which Joseay replied, no.  “Do you know that the pig has Olivia written on it?”  So Joseay simply reasoned/decided that Olivia must be the pig's name.  So now, we have a piggy bank named Olivia who Joseay has been carrying around with her.  Olivia is white with flowers painted on her side. She is quite the lady.  In fact, yesterday, Joseay informed me that Olivia doesn’t poop, she just tee tees because she is a lady. So we had a quick biology lesson.  I don’t think it took.
These kids, not unlike most kids, begin to burrow into your heart and you find new levels of love.  Of course, this is also a risk as this burrowing exposes your heart to pain, to loss, and to heart break. But Joseay and Brown are deeply loved in this house.
I heard a phrase, a phrase I didn’t quite get on a podcast the other day.  I am pretty sure I misheard it, but it triggered in me the phrase “you realize at some point during your kids lives, that your heartbeat no longer emanates from your own body, but has begun to come from your kids.”  I think this is a beautiful statement of selfless love, and though it is “easy” to feel it with regard to our kids, we have to realize that we have been called, chosen and tasked with loving those around us with this same love.  As I feel the depth of my love for my kids, I recognize my extreme failure in loving my neighbor.  So I continue to pray for that heart change, that allows me to love more deeply those who I am not naturally drawn towards.